Babymother: 39 and a week or so

Every bathroom used by a child also has one of these, in my experience. They’re great. They don’t slip, they’re inoffensive, and they let your child reach the tap / lightswitch / Daddy’s razor with no effort whatsoever. I’ve also discovered a handy secret – when perched on the toilet feeling nauseous, no need to get up – you can simply flip it over and throw up into it. Just like a bucket. It has got holes in the sides, true, but if you don’t tip it too much, it’s fine.

As for children rattling the bathroom doorhandle and either shouting ‘MummyMummyMummy’ or asking inane questions, mid-retch, and not understanding ‘Mummy’s being SICK!’ it doesn’t help with that at all. Except you didn’t have to leave the bathroom to get a bucket, I suppose.

Not the best time for Babyfather to choose to go on a 3-day work conference.