Babe: 3 years outside
Babeling: 6 months inside

The babeling is already behaving completely differently to the babe. Last weekend he had a bout of aerobics that seemed to go on without a break for 48 hours. The babe never did that. Nor did she ever, ever wallop me hard enough to wake me up. For the little 5th centile shrimp that he allegedly is, he really packs a punch. I woke up abruptly one night having dreamt that he finally shoved his fist so hard that it broke through the skin of my stomach. (It’s alright – there wasn’t any blood.)

I was looking at it with some concern wondering how to convey to an unborn baby that it was doing something wrong – was he too young to smack?

Shortly after babyfather spotted a certain picture in the Sunday Times magazine – don’t click here if you would not like to see a real version of my dream. You will either be awed and inspired or feel sick. Actually I was torn between the two.

Anyway, so long as he stays within the proper limits, I don’t mind the babelings’ antics at all. If I have nothing better to do I can sit back and watch my belly doing a little twitching dance all by itself.