Babe: 2 years and 11 months outside
Babeling: 6 months inside

I think the three-year-old has arrived, one month before her birthday.

It’s an old mantra of parenthood – but just when you get the hang of your child they turn into something else. The two-year-old was easy. She was feisty but willing to co-operate, and obeyed orders like ‘Go and put your [beloved and favourite] dummy [which you would die for] back in your bed please,’ without hesitation. She never really had anything I could describe as a full-blown tantrum. If refused her wishes, she would usually not even protest.

For example: she brought me a mop and a wicker waste paper basket.

Babe: Mummy, can you put water in my bucket?

Me, bluntly: No, you can’t put water in baskets. It will run out.

Babe: *thinks* I know! I’ll put tend [pretend] water in it!

*mops floor vigorously with tend water*


Babe: Can I go on the big girls’ slide?

Me: You’re too small.

Babe (happily): I can go when I’m bigger!

I thought it was just her doctorate in emotional intelligence – then remembered my sister’s warning that her son had Terrible Threes instead of the traditional Twos.


BM: Put your dummy back in your bed please. You can’t take it downstairs.

Babe: (face scarlet, voice top volume) NO!!!!!!

*refuses to be separated from dummy, or go downstairs, for next 20 minutes*


Observing me put packing tape on a parcel –

Babe: I want that! That’s MY piece!

BM: No, it’s my piece, but you can have the next one.

Babe: BLUE MURDER!!!!!

BM: Here’s the next piece.


BM: OK, I think I’ll put the tape away now.

Babe: NO NO NO!

*hits me twice on bottom while roaring*

BM: Right! On the naughty step with you!

She sat there and roared. I don’t mean she cried, I mean she roared. It was the angriest sound I’ve ever heard her make. I came back to get her and she ROARED at me again with a bright red face, so I walked off.

I completely failed to get her to apologise when she had calmed down, despite the longest time she’s ever been on the naughty step – but then, who knows if that was the right thing to do anyway? I know how the two-year-old worked but this child is a bit of a mystery. Any advice welcome.